“When you sow things in the spring, you commit them to the darkness of the soil. The soil does its own work. It is destructive to interfere with the rhythm and wisdom of darkness.”—John O’Donohue

 (c) Cat Charissage, 2016

This painting is from my recent “Tree of Life, Spheres of Light” Intentional Creativity Session.  It is the Kabbalah’s Tree of Life diagram superimposed on the spruce tree that I see through my studio’s windows, here surrounded by flames, yet unconsumed.

Dear Friends,

Happy International Women’s Day here on this New Moon in March!  May we all work to make justice in whatever ways are open to us.

I had the privilege of being at a silent retreat this past weekend.  It suited the waning moon, moving into quiet, silence, inner images.  Here’s an early draft of what came for me:

In my dream she asks for help.

A woman is behind the furnace.

I help her out — she’s wounded, burned, weak.

She’s also so wise, and so strong.

 

I sit in silence at the retreat

thinking of Moses’ burning bush, unconsumed.

I feel heat all around me, while my inner heat dissipates.

Myself:  burning bush.

 

The body’s inflammation can create dis-ease, pain.

Bodies ache with what we call arthritis, diabetes, fibromyalgia.

Hearts ache with what the newspapers, and history, have to say.

We are burning, but unconsumed.

 

I see the rose, opening.

At the center, flames burst forth.

Sacred Fire at the heart of Mystery,

and mysteries, unfolding.

 

Sacred Heart surrounded by fire

icon of compassionate love.

Earth is sacred heart, enflamed.

I will be bush, burning.

 

Unconsumed, and strong.

———————

May you be open to your inner visions and voices, knowing the rhythm and wisdom of darkness.

With love,

Cat

Note:  Another Tree of Life Intentional Creativity Session will be held on Saturday, March 19.  And on April 9, I will have a session on Navigating a Faith Crisis.  For more info, check at the top of this page on “Current Offerings” or email me at catcharissage@gmail.com.

Dear Friends,

The beautiful full moon greeted me tonight as I walked out of the church where I had just attended a Labyrinth workshop.  I was pensive and discouraged, reminded of why I very rarely go out in the evenings.  It was the first labyrinth I had walked in more than 7 years, and I realized just how much my body has changed in these intervening years.  Tonight as I walked, my hips, lower back, pelvis, and knees ached in such pain that I wasn’t sure I would make it all the way into and out of the labyrinth.  Today had been full, and dear body couldn’t hold up for an after dinner outing, even one so deeply desired.  It’s not often that we’re confronted with the realization of just how much daily life has changed from what it used to be.

I’ve known that the chronic pain I live with has been increasing.  Most nights I’m up 4, 5, 6 times from being awoken with the pain.  I have excellent health care, both traditional and alternative, and have been helped much by many modalities.  However, this is something that just doesn’t seem to go away, no matter the healer, therapist, medication, intervention, or prayer.

What is it about things that don’t go away in our lives?  Those things that we work on, work with, in a variety of ways?  Most of us have some challenge like this in our lives.  How do you discern when to pour all your energy, time, (and money) into searching for anything that will alleviate the difficulty of the challenge, and when to accept this unasked-for “gift” as something that will accompany you through your days — and long, very long, nights?

The answers to this are different for different people, challenges, times of life, and even the day’s energy levels.  There’s a lot of grace in just realizing we’re all doing the best we can with what’s handed to us.

But tonight, looking into the face of what has accompanied me for many years and seems likely to accompany me into whatever future I have, I also look into the face of the full moon.  Every month, this light of the night shines forth in glory, waning and then waxing again —- much like pain does in its waxing and waning.

What might it be like to accept all of life’s waxings and wanings, to know what might be possible when the light is full glorious, and the different things that are possible when the light is gone — or at least not visible?

When I feel energetic and mostly pain-free I move through my world like a gentle tornado, and often get lots done; when I’m not, I remember that the world is also full of people who suffer from broken bodies and broken hearts, and my heart can fill with more compassion, more love.  In either waxing or waning we can serve, and love, with hearts full open, full glorious — a heart moon that I hope can stay open and full, and bring a smile to my spirit as the full moon did tonight.  Light of the night, so right, so bright!

With love,

Cat

 

 

 

Dear Friends,

One of my new intentions for 2016 is to follow the energy of the new and full moons, as much as is realistic in the press of day t0 day life.  The new moon is the dark of the moon, associated with a quiet, inner, contemplative type of energy.  The full moon is associated with an “out there”, full type of energy, where one is active in the world and with each other.

For the last few days I’ve mostly stayed quiet, at home, and in my magic study, giving my new intention a try as the new moon approaches (tomorrow, Monday).  I’ve been discerning what events I should or can be offering in the next few months that would be in that sweet spot of where my passion meets the needs of the world within my reach.

And so here is the listing of my offerings for the next few months.  Please download it,  at CatOfferingsforWinterSpring2016, print it out, and/or share it with whomever you think would be interested.  Remember that the events are held in my home study where I can only accomodate 7 participants.  If you’re interested in any of the offerings, please reserve your spot early.

Thank you so much for your interest and support.  I am so inspired by your comments and feedback, and I promise to share whatever I can to help you navigate the depth dimensions of your life.

With love,

Cat

OFFERINGS FOR WINTER/SPRING 2016

Intentional Creativity and SoulWork

For questions or registration, contact me at catcharissage@gmail.com

NO PREVIOUS ART EXPERIENCE NEEDED

LAST SATURDAYS in February, March, April, and May:

OPEN STUDIO,  1:30 p.m. – 4:30 p.m.   No charge, but RSVP

February 27:  Creating a Smashbook out of a composition notebook

March 26: Creating a Landing Page for your journal or scrapbook

April 30:   Slapping down some Pictures (collage for the rest of us)

May 28:    (to be announced)

All supplies provided  (donations gratefully accepted)

Youth welcome with accompanying adult

 

Saturday, February 20, 1:30 – 4:30 p.m.

Tree of Life, Spheres of Light: an introduction to an ancient mysticism

A Red Thread Session including Words and Image

$60 (or by donation) for 3 hours of Intentional Creativity based on Kabbalistic lore on the Divine pouring Godself into this world, held in the mystery of a Tree of Life.  Create your Tree painting on watercolor paper.

 

 

 

Saturday, March 12, 1:30 – 4:30 p.m.

Story Cards:  The Life I Long to Lead

A Red Thread Session including Words and Image

$60 (or by donation) for 3 hours of Intentional Creativity based on creating a personalized deck of Mirroring Cards.

 

Saturday, March 29, 1:30 – 4:30 p.m.

Creating with the Tree of Life

A Red Thread Session including Words and Image

$60 (or by donation) for 3 hours of Intentional Creativity based on Tree of Life teachings on the Four Worlds of Creation, a way of understanding and planning a project from conception to completion.  Create your personal diagram/painting on watercolor paper.

 

Saturday, April 9, 1:30 – 4:30 p.m

How Did It Get So Confusing? Navigating a Faith Crisis

An afternoon of inquiry and exploration for those whose relationship with their faith is causing pain or confusion.

I have a strong theological background and my own experiences of crisis and inquiry to help guide others to their own deepest questions and next steps.  We will explore adult doubts, pain, anger, and sorrow with a view towards (eventually) finding a faith of our own to live into.  We will write or art in response to prompts with opportunities for brief sharing, if desired.

 

Saturday, April 23, 1:30 – 4:30 p.m.

Home of the Heart

A Red Thread Session including Words and Image

$60 (or by donation) for 3 hours of Intentional Creativity based on writing prompts and arting around the idea of home, belonging, and where we find rest, nourishment, and nurturing.  Where is your ideal home?  Are you living here now?  What can you do to feel more at home right now, in this life, in these circumstances, in this community, with these persons?

 

 

Saturday, May 21, 11 a.m. – 5 p.m.

13 Step Painting Process:  GATHERING THE SHARDS, Restoring the Light into the Shattered Spaces

$100 (or by donation) for 6 hours of Intentional Creativity:

Pondering, Writing, Painting

     Create a painting on canvas based on the story of the Divine Light being shattered into shards that permeate our world, with our task to gather these shards to make the Holy                                                                                     visible. Where has your life been broken into                                                                             pieces?  Illness, loss, despair — how can we                                                                           gather whatever light there is, and remake a                                                                             Holy wholeness?  A day of pondering, writing,                                                                         and painting.

 

Thursdays, May 4, 12, 19, and 26, 7 – 9:30 p.m.

Walking in the Dark:  Finding, Questioning, Claiming, and Following Our Intuition, based on the Vasalisa Story

A 4 session Study Group including Words and Image

$100 (or by donation) for 10 hours of Intentional Creativity

We will explore Vasalisa and Baba Yaga as told by Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes in her book Women Who Run with the Wolves, creating a painting on watercolor paper out of our discussions.

 

For questions or registration, contact me at catcharissage@gmail.com

Dear Friends,

I’m still easing my way into 2016.  It was an incredible 2015 —- I finished two very, very full online courses:  Color of Woman, an Intentional Creativity training from Shiloh Sophia McCloud, and Living the Tree of Life from Havi Mandell and Caron McCloud.  As I’ve said to many of my friends already, the work that I put into these courses was about the same amount of work that I had put into my master’s degree — or at least that’s certainly what it felt like.  There was also a hefty dose of drama in my personal and family lives, as well, taking way more time and attention than I had planned on.  A dear, dear friend passed from a recurrence of cancer.  I conducted Story Circles, a 4 week Study Group, and half a dozen other 1/2 or full day classes on Intentional Creativity. Read almost 50 books.  Kept up with my meditation practice.  Attended two week-long intensive trainings with Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estes.  And facilitated a twice monthly book group at the YWCA (actually, it’s a lot like trying to herd cats, and we have one helluva lot of fun!  If we had a coat of arms the motto would be “We who shall never be herded!”)

I also, surprisingly, filled these 10 journals with musings, lists, doodles, paintings, collage, print outs of memorable emails I sent or received, photos of my paintings and writings throughout the year, and an article or two I just couldn’t throw away.  As you can see, I make my own journals, sewing folded watercolor paper into fabric covers.  There’s one Cosmic Smashbook in there:  the one with the raven and compass painted on the cover is a decorated composition book.

It’s perception I want to talk about right now, though.  As I was in the midst of living all this, it felt  as though I wasn’t getting nearly as much done as I had hoped.  It felt as though I’d never get the courses finished in time; it felt as though I might not have time to adequately prepare for my own offerings.  Yet each day I just moved forward as best I could, more slowly or not at all on the bad days when the physical pain claimed all energy and attention, joyfully and exuberantly on the internal sunny days.

If I hadn’t created some kind of documentation of my days, if my courses had not each demanded the submission of my cumulative body of work, I would probably still be feeling as though I hadn’t gotten enough done last year.  And how crazy would that have been, faced with the evidence of what actually filled the days of 2015!!!

The thing is, I’m not the only woman I know who fills her days with necessary and worthy activities — I’m just lucky enough, or conscious enough, to have paused to collect, photograph, list, and reflect on what filled those days.  And that’s what I’d encourage you to do.  Take a weekend or a day to go through last year’s calendar; reread whatever journals you kept; remember the emotional, physical, spiritual challenges.  Give yourself credit for the beautiful life that you are creating for yourself and your beloveds.

Believe it or not, but most of my friends “do” a lot more than I do.  But look at what accumulates in just a few hours a day, day after day after day!  Remember Mary Oliver’s question:  “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”  And I’ll add:  Tell me, who are you?  Who do you want to be?

Now, how will you live this amazing new year?  (And it’s okay if you want to go take a nap now!)

Much warmth and love,

Cat

p.s.  I’ve taken it easy this month, doing some wrap up of 2015 and planning for the coming months.  My intention is to follow the moon’s energy a little more closely this year, and to write two blog posts per month, one on or near the Full Moon and one on or near the New Moon.  Thank you for being one of my readers.  I’m honored that you’re here.

Happy Solstice!  I recently finished this painting with the darkness of winter and the grayness of parts of our lives in top of mind.

The little pieces that look like glass shards are actually little pieces of a cd, and they reflect the light so beautifully in the varying lights of the day; I wish the photo could reflect that accurately.  As I painted, I was thinking of the story from Kabbalah that in the ongoing creation, God pours out Godself into spheres of light, which then, not able to contain the magnitude of “Godness”, shatter.  All of creation is filled with these shards of light from the spheres, shards which contain/reflect the magnitude of that which is greater —- greater than the cold of a north hemisphere winter, greater and brighter than the grayness that seeps into most all of our lives.  It is our task, according to the Kabbalah, to gather these shards, to mend, to repair, our world.

For me, this goes way beyond “thinking positively.”  It’s  a way of being in which I choose (often not too successfully) to not only notice, encourage, and gather whatever Light I see around me, but to also bring Light to all that is within my reach, to the extent that I am able.

I was also thinking of ancestors, known and unknown, genetic bloodlines and chosen, “real” and imagined.  I was thinking of how so many of our ancestors lived through great hardships, some of the least being living in shared accommodations and needing to take public transit, and how they survived, and thrived enough to allow us to live and take our place in this beautiful and broken world.  In my poem I write about one of my imagined ancestors.

I offer to all of you the blessing of Light in the darkness, shimmer in the grey.  May we all bring whatever light and healing we can to all within our reach.

Here is the poem that accompanies this painting:

You Already Know      — Cat Charissage, December 2015

Sometimes I see you,

shimmers of iridescence,

shimmers of light

in the midst of gray.

Sometimes, in my dreams or in my day,

I see a world of color,

of red, blue, yellow birds

in the grey trees against the grey sky next to the grey sidewalk

alongside the even darker grey asphalt of the street.

Red, blue, yellow . . . when mixed, can make a rainbow of color.

Possibility, hope, promise. . .

Of what worth is a rainbow’s promise in a grey world?

 

The grey world is what I also see.

Spirit-numbingly, heart-breakingly clearly

I see in the dark:  darkness.

How to hold both?

How to hold on to whatever shards of light might also be?

 

Actually, I know I can only hold the darkness,

see the suffering,

choose to witness

if, and when, I can also hold beauty and light.

The beauty and the light allow me to bear the darkness.

But on those days when even the sun, always with us, cannot be seen,

where can I find you?

Desperate to know you, Light of Life,

where can I find you?

 

I hear my East-European great grandmother say,

“Alchemy.”

Alchemy?

“Alchemy.  Transformation.

When you can’t find the light,

bring it, make it.

Wear the colors of alchemy:

red, black, yellow, white — the snow will do for the white —

add some clear blue eyes to see truth,

and a green bag to hold close to you what is ever green.

Bring the light.

Make the transformation.

Be the alchemist.

We were called witches,

but we are really alchemists.

We bring transformation;

We are those who return the light.”

 

Tell me more, grandmother.

Stay with me, show me!

 

“You know,” she says.

“Choose.

Bring, transform, return,

see clearly.

I know

you already know

how.”

 

Do I?

Will I?

 

Silence.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Yes.

 

 

acrylic on canvas, (c) Cat Charissage, 2015

Love, Boundaries, Beauty

Cat Charissage, November 2015

On Friday the thirteenth my heart, pierced, rained an ocean of tears,

salt water from an ocean of love.

Everything I heard, saw, read, thought about brought on the rain of tears that day,

and the next, and the next.

Filled with so much love that my heart broke open,

the tears and the love flowed over everything I know,

over my entire awareness, over all.

So much love for our broken open world,

so much love for my broken open life.

 

There were shootings in Paris

stopping, dead, forever,

more than a hundred fellow souls

living their evening freedoms in a neighborhood epitomizing liberal society.

Hundreds, thousands, millions more are stopped,

stunned,

with a hurt we may live with forever.

 

Meanwhile, on another continent but no world away,

I have a son we named Liberty.

Liberty — so that he may be liberated from indoctrinations;

Liberty — so that he may be free to be his unique self.

And unique he is:  deeply creative, highly sensitive, quirky, eccentric,

a writer, becoming a man

trying to figure out how to make a life

while making a living.

Raised with such love and extraordinary understanding

(he says so himself, grateful to be able to be who he is.)

 

He sees this crazy world,

is pained, taken aback by the hatred.

How to make a future?

“Do I even matter in a dying world of 7 billion people?”

“I can’t even run this program, how can I ever make a difference?”

And sometimes he is angry; oftentimes he is sad.

He is so often misunderstood —- liberty IS very often misunderstood

in a world of shoulds, oughts, “you need to be controlled.”

After the school shooting in Oregon and too many other places,

an unusual young man, an angry young man,

is watched.

And misunderstood.

And feared.

“Can’t be too careful, you know.”

 

My mother’s heart breaks open again and salt waters flow.

The salt waters flow

for Liberty, for liberty, for those killed in so many places

in this broken open world,

for those still alive, broken open.

Love flowing out, for all of us.

 

And the newspaper says that the killers will be pursued without mercy.

Without mercy.

 

My salt water’s love flows over that, too.

 

All of us yearn to make a difference, to make one’s life meaningful,

and yes, even memorable, if we can.

All of us want that, even those who grow up to undertake terror.

What is it like, really, to grow up seeing this broken world,

yet also be frustrated, isolated, and tutored by haters who show you

how to make a difference, this kind of difference,

show you how to become memorable?

 

People say violence is senseless.  

But I understand.  

It’s not senseless at all in its twisted meaningfulness.

Not senseless, but tragic.  Totally and fully tragic.

 

My salt water’s love flows over that, too.

 

But I can almost not bear my heart so broken open, too open.

Love flowing, but life flowing out, too.

 

Where, how, what do I do to bear this?

 

My heart broken open,

I must remember,

is also held in, gently, by my own skin, my own body.

 

Salt waters can flow, but also be bounded and contained.

I can choose what to let in.  I can choose where to look.

Salt waters can help me cleanse my eyes, can help me see more clearly.

See the finches play at the birdfeeder,

see my spouse prepare supper,

see the the branches of the crabapple twist toward light.

See the helpers come to help, the healers come to heal.

Know that I don’t need to feel it all, do it all,

but do what is mine to do — bounded by my reach.

My broken open heart can contain me,

give me words to direct my thoughts,

give me actions to repair my piece of the world,

give me the discipline to show up every day to the page, to my life

where I can make my difference, my meaning,

where I can pour my salt waters’ love with mindful intention.

 

Boundless love, bounded life; directed love, repairing life.

 

And I move into a truth that can only be known

by seeing all sides

with compassion —

including my own limited, bounded self in this limited, aching body.

 

This truth is beautiful.

 

The beauty of love, flowing yet contained by the banks of my own body

and life-in-this-world.

 

And the crystal in the window transforms sunlight into rainbows.

Different colors.  Unexpected beauty.

Who could believe all those colors are in sunlight?

All our colors, held in the light. . .  

our human rainbow of colors, held in the Light.

 

That’s a promise!  And it’s beautiful,

so beautiful.

The salt waters recede.

Intentional Creativity is a way of living that moves intention and consciousness into all that we create — most importantly, into the creation of our own lives.  Living mindfully in this way expands our ability to recognize the power of choice and possibility in a world too often experienced as only numbing, limiting and prescribed.

Intentional creativity uses image, word, dream, and silence to access your own inner knowledge and spiritual depths.  When used to create art, it’s the closest thing I know to modern alchemy, a process where playing with color and paintbrush, pen and paper becomes a very satisfying journey into your inner self, manifesting and transforming your own story and symbols into a material reality onto paper or canvas.  We start with intentional inquiry and guided journeying, augment the experience with journalling, create an imagination-stimulating portal on the canvas, experiment in a narrative underpainting, and culminate with your finished painting and prose or poem.  We put ear to the canvas and listen with the ears of the heart.  I

ntentional Creativity is an authentic and effective way to explore a question, topic, or challenge in your life, accessing your inner wisdom and bringing it to the surface in a way that uses all parts of your brain, your intuition, your spirit, and your playfulness.  You are often delightfully surprised by what you uncover, and have a record of the process which can offer sustaining information and wisdom as you continue to contemplate your painting and writing.  While feeling magical, this is a psychologically and spiritually sound practice to safely explore your own life’s depth dimensions.

It doesn’t matter whether you have previous painting experience or not, the process works.  It’s also tremendously enjoyable!  Even if you find the process challenging, you are guided and supported throughout.  You will come to know to know your own life’s story and actively participate in its unfolding.  And as you access more consciousness, you expand your life’s possibilities. Tea, chocolate, glitter, acceptance, and connection are in abundance . . .

If you’re in the Lethbridge area, consider joining me for a 13-Step Painting Adventure, SOPHIA:  WISDOM WITHIN on Nov. 21 and 22, 2015.  For more info:https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BzXBJy3KcGXA8Bc26gW2csUMuPKef0fVffzrn2jYsNQ/edit

(c) 2015, Cat Charissage

Dear Friends,

We’re moving into late fall, moving into winter — a time of year, especially in the north, where sensible creatures hibernate, or fly south (oh, wouldn’t it be nice!).  We, however, are in our busiest time of year, full of classes and book clubs and appointments and projects.  In an agricultural society, summers were full of the activities of making hay while the sun shined, and winters gave time to read, study, rest, and repair our tools.  Including the tool, the treasure, of ourselves.  In an urban society we’ve inverted that rhythm, for better or worse.  Now, in late October, just as our cars are covered with frost with the promise of ice and snow to come, we scurry to meetings, concerts, fund-raisers.

In this flurry and scurry I remember:

Do not use up the treasure of you.

Tap into the universal cosmos of thoughts and images that are ours, as humans and as wise women.  We ARE the ones we’ve been waiting for, who can express these truths of the black nights of mystery into the language of Spirit that others will understand.  From the smallest DNA strands to the starry night, truth and beauty are unfolding.  You are a part of that.  You are that.

You, too.

Much love,

Cat

Dear Friends,

One of the most persistent paradoxes of my life is that I cannot seem to talk about what my life is all about.  I can find words for almost everything I want to say most of the time, but I have few words whenever I want to talk about that which most people mean when they use the word “God”.  All of me is about seeking to live a “deep and real life”, one in which we drop into the depths of what is possible to be and know as a human.

A few days ago I was watching “The Hero’s Journey”, a movie about the life of Joseph Campbell.  I’ve read much of his work and admire him greatly, and there, in an interview with him, he said something which vibrated within me as deeply true:

“God is a metaphor for a mystery that absolutely transcends all human categories of thought, even the categories of being and non-being.”

Later, in a talk, Campbell talked about soul:

“The seat of the soul is there where the inner and the outer meet.  Where these come together is where we have mythos.”

Yes.

Not too long ago I was asked to write up three points of wisdom that I know, for sure. Here’s how I responded:

1.  There is more here in this life than running to the grocery store, dealing with frustrated drivers, and running around in a fog.  MYSTERY shimmers behind and through every living and natural being and thing, and wants a relationship with us that’s conscious and joyful.
2. One best way to help others is to help them feel that they belong, and help them to create their home here in this space/time —- to create the conditions where they know that they are here, at home, with us.
3. One best way to love is to be a compassionate witness to another’s story and life, and to call out their freedom, beauty, and their own compassion.  This is the way to a “D & R Life”, a “deep and real life”, and the way to know that MYSTERY who shimmers within and through all.

There’s lots more I can say, and will — in time.  In the meantime, what are some of your points of wisdom that you know, for sure?

With much love,

Cat

(c) Cat Charissage 2013

Dear Friends,

Thank you to so many of you for such wonderful greetings to me on my birthday on September 29!  I’m so grateful to have such caring friends, and I so appreciate your kindnesses to me.

There have been many encouraging and soulful activities going on here, with more being planned for the upcoming months.  I’m getting closer to finishing my apprenticeship in Intentional Creativity and my 9 month class on Living the Tree of Life, so it’s just about as busy as I can handle.

At the same time as there has been so much good happening, I’ve also struggled with increased pain and fatigue.  The entire last week has been the worst, though I’m coming out from under it.  Please send good thoughts and prayer in my direction, that I may continue in my work of sharing making meaning and making soul.

I’ll soon send out another post with more content.

With much warmth and love,

Cat