Intentions and Direction, Not Resolutions and Goals

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Do Resolutions and Setting Goals Work for You? How about Setting Intentions and a Direction, Instead?

My dear soul friend,

Today is the first Full Moon of 2024! Now that we’re into this New Year, , how’s it going for you? Are you someone who makes New Year Resolutions or sets up a series of goals?

I LOVE making goals and plans and charts and 3-month plans, 6-month plans, and even 5-year plans. But I’m not too worried about actually following them. It’s the doing the exercise, actually taking the time to plan that helps me hone in on what I really want to do with the time and the energy I will probably have available to me. Those resolutions or goals I make I hold only loosely. I understand them as setting intentions, not “To-Do’s”; setting forth in a particular direction, not wed to getting to a particular destination. Sometimes, like this year, I’ve made goals NOT to have goals!

It’s taken me a few (dozen) years to get to my current level of pondering my dance with what I want, what I want to accomplish, what life hands me, and what unknown opportunities will surely arise in the future.

Let me tell you some of my practices for the past few years. In the week between Christmas and the New Year I re-read my big journals for the year along with my Bullet Journals. My big journals contain what I call my “Archives”: printouts of newsy letters or emails I’ve received or sent, some sketches or watercolor experiments, all kinds of emails that I don’t ever plan to send because they’re mostly me venting about something I feel passionately about, rants about life, the universe, and everything, and even just beautiful photos and memes I got from online.

My Bullet Journal is the notebook I carry with me all the time. That, along with my Google calendar online, keeps me organized for each day’s commitments, meetings and webinars. It holds some of my notes from those meetings, and captures the good ideas (and bad ones, too) that come up randomly but I don’t want to lose. My Bullet Journal is not fancy or artful or beautiful, though I secretly envy those who create ones like that. When I’ve tried, it was way too much work and made my random notes look out of place. But I NEED those notes and ideas. So I go for useful rather than beautiful. I’ve found it a great tool. I just make a blank notebook and create weekly 2-page spreads that show me my week at a glance. Then on the following pages I record the current date and make quick jottings on whatever that particular day brings.

I also keep a dream journal —- I record my dreams on loose paper I keep on clipboards near where I sleep, plus in the bathroom, along with a pen in order to catch the dreams before I completely forget them. I date them and give them a title, then store them in the pocket of that month’s big journal. Analyzing them, especially the juicy ones, is a real joy for me, and a source of really useful insight.

Yes, I know that all can be considered excessive —- except that I enjoy it, and it serves me well. Back in 1996 I remember listening to a lecture by the productivity guru Steven Covey wherein he asked, “What is the one thing, that if you did on a daily or regular basis, would make the most positive difference in your life?” I immediately knew that it would be to keep more regular journals. And it HAS worked out to be a great blessing in my life.

I’d kept journals since I was in high school, but like most people (especially women), I wrote in them mostly when I was feeling sad. Those old journals aren’t a record of my life, only a record of the crises I went through.

More regular journals, though, have become a tool where I translate ideas and good intentions into life habits and projects. I use them to plan for the future, but also as a feedback mechanism that lets me know how realistic my good intentions may actually be. They also make visible to me all the invisible work that women have done for thousands and thousands of years —- well, at least my own “invisible work”.

I’ve had to learn, though, a particular attitude for this to be of use: not to criticize myself! (Even though that’s my first instinct to do!) I take as my bottom line that I am doing the best I can with the time and the health that I have, so no shame, no blame. Just information. And I even write that at the top of my paper where I do my assessment and planning to remind myself not to judge.

So, I read all the data that I’ve collected for the year. I jot down any strong feelings that come up as I read, any particular insights, or anything important I may have lost track of. I sit with that for awhile trying to put into words my impression of how the year went.

For instance, last year I started with highly detailed plans for how to get a new website designed and online, and how to get my book published through amazon. I came up with those plans by continually asking myself of each big goal, “Can I do that piece tomorrow? No? Okay, what needs to be done before that?” I write those down, and keep going backward, in more detail, until I come up with actual action steps for what I might be able to do tomorrow to move the project forward. Those were huge projects, and I needed a lot of pages to write down all the steps that I knew needed to be done —- not to mention leaving big gaps for all the things I didn’t know how to do.

Now looking back, after both of those complex projects have come to some completion, of course I didn’t plan perfectly. Too much happened that I just couldn’t have anticipated. But by having those plans, and looking at them every week while deciding which pieces might be accomplished in that particular week, I kept in mind my intention and kept going in the direction I wanted to go. After all, the best way to make God laugh is to tell her your plans! I KNOW by now that life WILL intrude!

My year did not go as planned, some things went better: the biggest change was being gifted with the help of my dear friend Stacy Oler in setting up my new website. As well, I decided that my life probably won’t be long enough to figure out how to set up my manuscript so that amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing will print it out not only accurately, but with the beauty that I had envisioned. I received a recommendation for an affordable and competent graphic designer who (thank God) prepped my manuscript so that amazon would understand what to do. (Note: we just can’t do it all ourselves.)

I ended my yearly assessment with two very strong impressions. The first was extreme gratitude and satisfaction that my book is actually published and out in the world! And, that my website is beautiful (www.catcharissage.com) The second was that I have never in my life been so frustrated so many times, and for so long, by technical difficulties. I was so frustrated for so long that if the computer were a person, I would have sued it for taking years of my life away from me! I’m not a digital native —- I finished a master’s degree before computers were commonly available! And this digital world does not come naturally to me. (Okay, Cat, calm down —- they’ve heard your rants before. . . )

So what are my intentions this year? Which direction am I setting out on?

To live deeply. I had been reflecting with dear spouse that 2023 had a seemingly unending amount of superficial busy work. Absolutely necessary for the completion of the book, but day after day after day of chores that were not intrinsically enjoyable nor inspiring. I need more depth. I want more depth. I NEED more DEPTH!

How I will accomplish that is yet to be completely revealed. I’m pruning activities and thinking hard before taking on any new commitments. I want to be consistent in my writing practice, and allow myself to make more art this year. I want to go more slowly and stay home more. And I really do not want to take on any projects that require me to learn anything new about computers!

Because these aren’t “things to do” that I can put on my calendar, I’m focusing on a rhythm of my days that allows me to live in the way that brings me the most depth, the best health possible, and the nurturing of my dear relationships with those I love. I do set up reminders in my Bullet Journal of how I want to live, and have loosely designated 4 day weekends for depth dimension work, with 3 days for the errands and chores none of us can avoid. I know how lucky I am to have sovereignty over my time. I’m fortunate to have a (modest) retirement pension courtesy of the CPP, a spouse with whom to share expenses, and the benefit of universal health care (hoping that it will continue to be available.) I have so much to be grateful for, and I am. May I use those blessings well!

And what about you? What is the one thing, that if YOU did on a daily or regular basis, would make the greatest positive difference in your life? I sincerely am interested in how you plan your time, if you do, especially how you accomplish very long term projects. What are your biggest frustrations, and what are the things that you love doing/being so much that you would invest many more hours into it if it were possible?

With much love and many blessings,

Cat